My Mother Is Fail

Mom asks Lolo to buy a can opener at the nearby grocery.

Lolo: O, heto na ang can opener!

Mom: Pakidala na lang sa kitchen, Dad.

Lolo: Ano ba kasi ang bubuksan ninyo?

Mom: Malamang de lata. Kaya nga can opener, eh. (rolls eyes)

Lost in Translation

Mom: Anak, ano bang tamang spelling—puto bongbong o puto bungbung?
Me: Ma, puto bumbong! Editor ka, diba?
Mom: Ingles naman ineedit ko eh!

Update 4.2.10, 18:30: Pati yung anak, tanga sa spelling. Alam na kung saan namana.

Birthday Gift

Mom: Ano gusto mo sa birthday mo?
Me: … Hindi ko alam eh. Gusto ko lang talaga grumaduate eh.
Mom: Anak, hindi naman nabibili yan eh.

Death by Mechanical Pencil

Me: Alam mo Ma, acidentally kong nasaksak ang sarili ko ng mechanical pencil kanina.
Mom: Anak, magpapakamatay ka na nga lang gagamitin mo pa mechanical pencil.
Me: Salamat ha. -_-;

Pill

*Mom drinks pill*
Mom: Anak, tama ba ‘tong ininom ko? Hindi ko sigurado kung Iterax* eh.
Me: *headdesk*

*Iterax - anti-allergy pill

Handwriting

*Mom hands me a piece of paper, with something scribbled on it*
Mom: Anak, pakibasa nga, hindi ko maintindihan sulat ko.
Me: *headdesk*

Me: Ma, tingnan mo o, ang cute ng bagong Plurk emote!
*shows *

Ma: Oo nga anak, ang cute! Isda!
Me: Ma, hindi naman yan isda.
Ma: Eh yun ang tingin ko ngayong walang salamin eh!
Me: Maaaaa. Magsalamin ka kasi! Hindi isda yan!
Ma: Isda pa rin siya sakin!
Me: Fine. :|

Mom, reading aloud from newspaper: “To Noynoy this is not a new slogan that he is picking up from Brother Eddie. It has been his life, the embodiment of his belief and core,” sabi ni [Former Education Secretary] Florencio Abad.

Aunt: Yun nga, kasi ipapasa-Diyos na ni Noynoy lang ang Bayan pag siya nanalo.

Mom’s caption: Hindi ako nag-a-a-go-go dancing dyan ha, hindi ko lang kayang tumakbo from the digicam to the Christmas tree in two seconds!

Me: Hindi ko masyadong trip caption ng nanay ko. Hmm. Ipa-caption contest ko na lang kaya ‘to? Game? GAME!

Mom: Patingin nga ng blog na ginawa mo para sakin!
*shows blog to mom*
Mom: Anak ko talaga, pinagkakitaan na ako.
Me: Ma, non-profit ‘to.
Mom: Ay ganun? Lagyan mo ng ads.
Me: :|

Commercial break muna. :3

Call for Contributions: January 2010

SPINDLE is a non-profit online journal that publishes poetry, prose, artwork, and essays. Reviews and interviews on literary and visual art, long poems, collaborations, sequential art, and works from a series are also welcome.

To be considered, send your work in .pdf or .doc format —in either Filipino or English—to spindle.ph@gmail.com. Please include SUBMISSION in the subject line.

Submissions are read year-round. New spindles will appear every six months on the official Spindle website. For now, you may follow the developmental blog at spindlejournal.tumblr.com.

The first SPINDLE will come out in June 2010.

(via spindlejournal)